Jim almost smiles at the mention of Starfleet trying to keep him there and quiet, something he couldn't quite imagine, but the smile doesn't happen. He ducks his head down quietly.
"Before I knew---before you came out of that kitchen---I was going to talk with her about it. "
He listens as Pike continues, trying to ignore the twisting of his gut as he says what he does. He feels torn in two. Torn between staying and going. Between possible stagnation and ---god, he isn't sure. He just doesn't know.
"It isn't just---I've been thinking a lot about my dad," whispers Jim. Not that he didn't see Pike as a surrogate father or anything. It's just---not the same. "He joined cause he believed in Starfleet."
Even with years and years between then and now---Marcus and Section 31 left him feeling untethered, looking for monsters in every shadow almost. Even still. "I don't know if---I joined on a dare. Your dare."
no subject
"Before I knew---before you came out of that kitchen---I was going to talk with her about it. "
He listens as Pike continues, trying to ignore the twisting of his gut as he says what he does. He feels torn in two. Torn between staying and going. Between possible stagnation and ---god, he isn't sure. He just doesn't know.
"It isn't just---I've been thinking a lot about my dad," whispers Jim. Not that he didn't see Pike as a surrogate father or anything. It's just---not the same. "He joined cause he believed in Starfleet."
Even with years and years between then and now---Marcus and Section 31 left him feeling untethered, looking for monsters in every shadow almost. Even still. "I don't know if---I joined on a dare. Your dare."