"Oh come on, some of those issue I sent your way were classic."

The growing up came at a cost. One he's still trying to cope with and learn from. Pike had been right before, even if he's certain he hadn't wanted to be, about what might happen were Jim not to learn to respect the chair. As far as seeing it, well, he isn't really sure about all that either. Days out there in deep space are hard. He ends up questioning more than he thought he would.

Especially wondering the why they are out there, bit. Sure, he knows the rhetoric, but what did that mean for him and did he really believe in it?